Monday, March 22, 2010

Scoot Over, Watson!



Former Canine Presidential Candidate Now Second Fiddle


As all major tabloids have reported, Watson, the former presidential candidate and self-acclaimed shelterdog, has been in a major pout throughout March of 2010. The reason? His housemate, Cricket, was one of several dogs selected to display her prize-winning smile by Bark Magazine (above, right). Watson, who has been somewhat reclusive since his 2008 presidential campaign received lots of attention but no electoral votes, was shocked that he was passed over. He has reportedly retreated into his shell. All we know for certain is that Watson has refused all press requests for interviews since Bark put Cricket’s winsome smile on the Web.

This recent development triggers new speculation about whether Cricket, rather than Watson, will become the canine candidate for the United States Senate in 2010. Cricket gave an interview to Shelterdog e-News, but her answers shed little light on issues related to her possible candidacy. Here are the highlights of her interview:

Shelterdog e-News: What’s it like being the celebrity dog after all those years of Watson hogging the spotlight?
Cricket: I like it. I like my people. I like people.
Shelterdog e-News: Have you given any thought to running for the Senate in 2010?
Cricket: “Thought” isn’t my strong suit.
Shelterdog e-News: Will you run for the Senate?
Cricket: I like to run. We were up in the Cascades last weekend, and I ran all over the place.
Shelterdog e-News: Would you be a “Tea Party” candidate?
Cricket: I like parties. My people had a party and I got to be petted by a lot of people.
Shelterdog e-News: If you ran for office, would you do any negative campaigning? What are you against?
Cricket: Mostly cats and squirrels. Chipmunks, but they’re usually not around by the time I get there.
Shelterdog e-News: What’s your position on health care?
Cricket: I don’t like going to the vet. I don’t think anyone should be subjected to health care if they don’t want to.
Shelterdog e-News: What about social issues? For example, do you think everyone ought to be able to pray in public?
Cricket: I like to prey. Especially on cats, squirrels, and chipmunks.

As you can see, Cricket may become a candidate to be reckoned with. Combining her good looks, winsome smile, and ability to avoid taking a stand on any issue, she sounds like the perfect challenger to any incumbent. Better beware, Harry Reid!

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