Monday, July 19, 2010

Watson Joins Tea Party: Diatribe Against Cats to Follow?


Shelterdog Watson, still seeking to overcome his disappointing run for the Presidency in 2008, was a happy pup over the weekend after learning of the Tea Party's refusal to renounce the racist rants of some of its members. Leading pundits had speculated that Watson's 2008 defeat was partly due to his lack of affilitation with any political party or group. Now it appears that the Tea Party suits him just fine. The word on the street is that he was greatly influenced by his half-brother-human Gavin Hoffman, who recently guest starred as a right-wing militiaman in the TNT series "Leverage."
"It makes perfect sense," an unnamed and former high-ranking Watson campaign strategist observed. "If the Tea Party tolerates racists and bigots, they can hardly criticize a member for virulent anti-cat rants, either."

Watson was never proven to have uttered an anti-cat word during his long campaign, although a few reporters on the campaign plane--on deep background--alleged that Watson was known to refer to cats as "mere prey." But a disillusioned former campaign worker, who also owns 16 cats, recently revealed to the National Enquirer that she had overheard Watson describing cats as "stupid," "foul-smelling," "worthless" creatures that "deserved to die."

Watson could not be reached for comment, and his staff refused to confirm or deny the rumors.

Meanwhile, the Tea Party welcomed its newest member with open arms. Said a spokesman: "We welcome everyone, without regard to his beliefs, philosophy, intelligence, compassion, sensitivity, species, or anything else. He IS white after all, isn't he?"

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