Saturday, October 23, 2010

Who's Moving in to Replace Candidate Watson?


With Watson's abrupt departure from the political scene, rumors swirled throughout the Pacific Northwest as to his possible successor. Who has the stature, the name recognition, the money, and speaking ability to step in at the eleventh hour to win a crucial 2010 Senate election?
The Shelterdog Blog has found the answer: Grace Linh Hoffman, Watson's former campaign manager, was spotted in Washington, D.C., earlier this month. Our crack paparazzo managed to photograph the four-year-old political strategist, standing next to the base of the Washington Monument. Though Grace measures a scant two blocks in height, her brains, beauty, wit, and her connections with the political machines of every metropolitan city in her state, guarantee that she has a good shot at the prize. In fact, even before she has officially announced her candidacy, tracking polls show her getting an incredible 59% of the deceased vote. With that kind of political savvy, how can she lose?
But, some have asked, what is her platform? What does she plan to do if elected? How would she vote on the critical issues facing the nation? In the current political climate, does anyone care? She's not an incumbent, has never dabbled in witchcraft, and knows what it's like to be unemployed. How can she lose?

Has Watson Dropped His Quest for Electoral Office?


Shelterdog Watson, who had been seeking to become the Kibble Party candidate for the U.S. Senate, appears to have quietly dropped his electoral bid. There has been no formal public announcement, but Shelterdog's crack reporting team has it on good authority that Watson no longer wants to join the partisan fray in Washington, D.C. Is it because he is satisfied with the current state of the Union? Or because he fears he might lose? Or because the U.S. Chamber of Cat Commerce is plotting a series of attack ads, alleging that the candidate is a "closet cat-ist?" Most likely none of the above. Rather, with the emergence of Watson's local football team, the University of Oregon Ducks, as #1 in both the major polls and #2 in the BCS, Watson seems to have forsaken politics for the Green and Yellow (and, occasionally, Carbon, Black, White, and a variety of other colors) of the Oregon Ducks. For a free sample of Watson's Duck tune, click on "It's a Great Day to Be a Duck," on the right column of your screen.