Saturday, September 30, 2006

The dogs are in a funk, so singer-songwriter Jonathan Hoffman has been relegated to writing his own music. We don't know whether he's up to the task, but you can help. Below are some song ideas he's considering. Tell him which one you think shows the most promise (if ANY). He'll take your collective favorite choice and reveal the entire songwriting process for that song.

Here are the candidates:
1. Thumb Drive Blues: [Computer drives can stuff more and more memory into smaller and smaller spaces. So why is it getting harder and harder to find our keys?]
2. One More REM: [If only I could sleep in]
3. Dog-a-Doodle Do: [Perhaps this is the same song as Song #2: Who needs a rooster when the dog jumps on your bed and breathes into your face at 4 AM]
4. Little Piece of Heaven: [A song extolling the Metolius River in Central Oregon]
5. Boogie at the County Fair: [From jugglers to emus to demonstrations of pots and pans you don't need. And what rhymes with "emu?" Other than "dog-a-doodle do?"].

Click on the "Comments" button, and post your comment.

Can Hoffman write the song you choose? Who knows? On the best of days, even with Watson's creative involvement, only about 30% of the songs he starts are ''keepers.'' But, until the dog comes out of his funk, we're on our own.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

What About ME?

I'm just as cute as you guys, and I've been quietly waiting for months. Doesn't anyone think I'm a lot cuter than those other dogs?? Respectfully, Tobey

What's the Matter With You Guys?

Hey, Cricket & Watson, I mean YOU. You keep complaining about your people, and neither of you is even a real yellow lab. I posted a comment a few months back, complete with my own poetry, and you refused to even post my picture. So I've been honing my HTML skills, and hitting the right keys with my paws, and here I am. Love (that's all I know) and Peanut Butter, Steinway

Shelterdog Music Scores a Perfect 10. Why Don't the Dogs Get the Credit?

The CD in which Jonathan Hoffman stole our songs, "For Dog Lovers Only," was recently given a perfect 10 in a review by Folkwax, the Internet's premier reviewer of independent folk music. How come Cricket and I don't get the songwriting credit? Just because Hoffman has the word processor and the opposable thumbs, he grabs all the credit! Unfair! (Watson)

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Listen, Download, Rate Our Songs


Now you can listen to--and even download--a couple of our featured songs. At no cost! Simply go to Folk Alley's Open Mic, and search for Jonathan Hoffman. Yes, the guy who is stealing all the credit for OUR songs. The Open Mic has several of our great Dog Tunes on it. In fact, Blue Yellow Lab contains Watson's Internet debut blues howl. Some of the lyrics to this important song are farther down this blog. But wait, there's MORE. Our Veterinary Rhythm & Blues is now available on the Open Mic, and this Veterinary R&B is a whole lot better than the Veterinary CLINIC is. Not even close!
Give our Dog Music a boost by rating the songs you like. (Or, even better, kick Hoffman in the butt by giving crappy ratings to all those stupid non-dog songs. You know, the ones that go something like, "I walked around in the rain and snow/self-absorbed, depressed and slow/I'd like to take long walks on the beach/but finding a rhyme's beyond my reach.). Stuff like that.
Don't blame Folk Alley. Folk Alley is a non-profit website that promotes folk music and independent singer-songwriters. It features an online folk radio station that provides the finest folk music around. Too bad so little of it us about important things. Like us pupsters.

Watson, Cricket, to Headline 2006 NW Pet & Companion Fair

Singer-songwriter Jonathan Hoffman is trying to take all the credit for bringing OUR Dog Tunes to the Northwest Pet and Companion Fair 2006 . The Pet Fair is scheduled for the weekend of April 22-23, at the Portland Exposition Center, E-Hall; 2060 N. Marine Drive, Portland, Oregon. Bring a can of pet food to the Fair. The sponsors of the Pet Fair are donating all pet food collected to the local AniMeals(Vancouver & Portland areas) program. It is a program for the cats and dogs of people who receive home-delivered meals. Many of these folks give up their food to feed their cats and dogs. That is why locally FIDO (Friends Involved in Dog Outreach) started ANIMEALS - a partnership with Clackamas Co. Social Services and Senior Meals programs to provide nutritious pet food for the cats and dogs of people who receive home-delivered meals. Second Chance Companions works with the Vancouver area program. The Pet Fair will be providing space for additional Pet Food donations. During the last four years, the NW PET & COMPANION FAIR has collected and distributed well over 6-7,000 lbs of pet food to local Rescue and Shelter groups.

STUPID CATS & RODENTS PLAN PROTEST

Cats are planning a Meow-In to protest the lack of Cat Music at the Pet Fair. Feline Folkie Cindy Mangsen, who recently released the all-kitty CD, Cat Tales could not be reached for comment. Rats, beavers, and other rodents would also protest if they thought of it. Alas, we have found no recordings, recent or otherwise, of rodent music.
Special Deal for Shelterdog Music Newsletter Recipients
Print out a copy of this Shelterdog Blog, bring it to the Pet Fair, and you'll receive a $5.00 discount off the price of any one of our CD's. That will pay for the cost of admission to the Pet Fair. Then, if you're interested in buying more CD's, we'll give you back the newsletter, so you can get another $5.00 discount for each additional CD.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Shelterdogs Promote New Book


How often do we shelterdogs promote a new book? Not that often. Frankly, Cricket and I aren't all that much into books because squirrels are a lot more interesting. Books don't chirp at us and climb trees. But, coming out this month is a book that even we can recommend. Check out "Tails of Devotion,"a photographic essay book looking at the bond between people and their pets. 100% of the gross proceeds will be going to 5 non-profit animal groups in the SF Bay Area (SFSPCA, PAWS, Friends of Animal Care and Control, Pets Unlimited and Rocket Dog Rescue). For more info on the groups, please visit: http://www.tailsofdevotion.com/non_profits.html. One word of caution. We haven't actually READ the book yet, and we're somewhat concerned that SOME of the material COULD include compassion for cats and other worthless creatures. But it looks like dogs and people on the cover, so it's probably OK. Perhaps someone with more knowledge--such as a person--could comment on whether feline things are in this book and, if so, WHY.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

So, what's wrong with a little spam??


My People bought some software called, "SpamKiller" the other day. They claimed they're trying to get rid of Spam. I don't understand what the problem is. I like Spam. It tastes almost like my dog food. So, any of you People out there, why are you trying to kill dog food?? And if you don't kill it, why do you put it on your computer? WHERE do you put it on your computer?

Sheesh! They think WE'RE stupid. I have a song about that, too, but I'll save it for later. It's called, "If Dogs Were as Stupid as People." Duh!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Why Shouldn't We Have Our Own Dog Blogs?


What's the problem? Why do the editors of this blog call it a coup? After all, it's called Shelterdog Blog. So why not let the shelterdogs contribute to it? After all, some of us are sensitive, self-absorbed songwriters, too. And some of our songs are even less boring than those of our People. Here's a snippet of one of mine:

I’m just a poor shelterdog
‘Cause the people make me sleep on the floor
If I slept upon the bed I’d be happy, but instead
They put me out, then they’re closing the door.
This old, moldy basket, that I never asked for
It’s only a typical ruse
It don’t have no box spring, no pillow, no people
So I’ve got the shelterdog blues.

Now, I know it's not perfect grammer. But I didn't get a very good education at the shelter. And there are a lot of people who went to school that use grammar just as bad as mine. And, if you think I'm just some ignorant shelter dog, you should read the interview I gave (with Watson, that narcissistic mutt whose blog submission is directly below and who instigated this takeover) at such an esteemed publication as
Harvard Magazine. We're actually a lot smarter and more articulate than the People give us credit for.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Dog-coup at Shelterdog Blog


Blah blah blah. I'm a sensitive, introspective singer songwriter, singing about my feelings. BLECCCH!

I couldn't stand it anymore, so in the words of that old political dog, General Alexander Haig, I'm in charge, now.

Call it a coup, call me a dog, but I'm a lot more in touch with my feelings than you singer-songwriters.

Feelings are very simple, really. I want to go to the lake. I want to chase the squirrels. I want to chase the chipmunks. I want to smell the rotten log. I don't like the cat. Food is good. I don't like going to the vet. I do like the park. Feelings.

But I have nothing against music, as long as it's good. So, in the spirit of these people who call themselves singer-songwriters, here's one of my own:

I'm a blue yellow lab.
Them blues have got me down
I'm a blue yellow lab
Them blues have got me down
'Cause my low-down "owners"
Won't let me run all over town.

Now that's a song! Who ever said songer-songwriters have to be people, anyway? Probably people, that's who.

So from here on out, this is OUR blog. After all, the people guy called it the "Shelterdog Blog." What did he expect?